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She could not deny the intense pleasure she had felt, and she knew that she had experienced some of the best orgasms of her life while playing the role of Niki, but she also found herself second guessing everything as the days passed. She was scared of losing herself, of going too far. She and Peter had even talked about it one night, sharing her fears, and trying to talk it all through. The dares had been one thing, she felt a lot more control when it was a dare that could be ended at any time. The submission, the collar, was just so scary. Not that she did not enjoy it, far from it. It was that she enjoyed it almost too much. She wanted to stay that free. That uninhibited. She wanted to push her own boundaries, do the things she had only written about, but it was scary. Very scary.She had taken to wearing only a sleep shirt or nothing at all when wandering the apartment, the idea of covering up making little sense, other than comfort, after the few times during which she had been. I also felt teary, along with a sense of panic from being called out for my actions. I got in a response first: “Christ, I was fourteen when I wrote that. It was juvenile. I thought you had begged your parents to move schools over that.”Alison managed to compose herself. “I didn’t read it until much later when I was clearing out my schoolbag just before starting at the College. My first thought was that I would not have the chance to respond, mainly because you left no contact details. Later, though, I read it after a guy I was seeing said something awful about kids from Eltham High, and I thought it was the most beautiful thing I have ever read. I’ve been surrounded by emboldened people for ten years: emboldened by money, by status, by privilege. Your note reminds me that there are beautiful minds everywhere, even when we are told to ignore them, and I thank you for that, Anton.”The simple act of her saying my name set something off inside me. “No, thank you for saying so, Alison.”.
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